Princess Nicole

090909. He passed away like one month and 2 weeks ago.

I thought I have come to terms with gonggong leaving but I realise I was wrong. Since I came back from Shanghai, I have been crying frequently. However, for the past week, it has stopped. Thus, I thought I am alright and even if gonggong was mentioned, I would not be as sad as before already. But I realise I was wrong after reading ampa's post just now. After reading her post, I nearly cried but I hold it back as I don’t wish to cry in front of my classmates. Somehow, ampa and I has the same feelings. I have hardly talked about my grandfather to anyone since his wake. The past few weeks, I have been thinking about many stuff unnecessarily, like what ampa has been doing. The feeling is worse what I mention about my grandfather.

When I was at home in the holidays, the feeling was worse. I would sit at his table to eat my lunch and watch tv whenever I could. It feels weird being alone in the room, having his photos staring at me. I remember, before he died, he stayed in the hospital for like 1 week. And for that week, I did not visit him as I was way busy with project and I talk he would be out of the hospital soon. I regret not spending time with him. When I visit him, it was already the day he went away. I was glad I decided to visit him before I went to orchard or else, I would not even be able to see him for the last time.

Before my next class, when I was standing there alone, somehow, I thought of my grandfather again. Somehow, I could not hold my tears in anymore and went into the toilet to cry. I really miss him a lot. On the bus, the scene of him on the hospital bed before they cover his face with the cloth kept flashing in my mind. Thinking about, I have not been a very good granddaughter and I regret not being able to accompany him more often before he left.

公公,我想你。不要担心我，我答应你，我会好好过的。

NICOLE♥

" She’s a princess,
living in her perfect fairytale "

27December
Loves Red
Loves Carousel