Princess Nicole

nowadays, everyone remembers me as the fair one and cant imagine me being tanned before. i was tanned from like pri 5 all the year to the beginning of poly year 1.

i swear it is not the effect of whitening lotion as the lotion i use is mainly mosituring cream and i hardly use it too. i only use it when the mood comes. haha.

nearly the end of 2005

the rest are taken in 2007

it was hard sometimes to see myself in the dark

recent comparison with my sister. i used to be same color as her.

i think naturally turning fair is better for the skin. hahaha.

i am not sure if i want to be tanned already. any suggestions? but i know i miss my stamina and physical fitness. i am so darn unhealthy now but i am very lazy to go to the gym. tomorrow.=). i will drag leify along. haha.

going out now. bye.

With hugs and kisses
P.Nicole

Gonggong died on the 090909 and today is already the 290909. He has left us for 20 days. On the 7th day, I have already flown to Shanghai and for the 10days; I just allow myself to forget everything and totally don’t bother about it. Today, I was supposed to go for prayers but I couldn’t wake up. Today, since I came back from shanghai, it’s my first time seeing my grandmother again. For the past few days, she have been living in my cousin house as she don’t wish to be remember as she would be sad. Today, she finally moved back. While she was in the room and I was eating my lunch, staring at the chair my grandfather always sit at, I looked about and wonder, what is my grandmother going to do now. For the past few years, they two were inseparable, going on cruise together, going to the beach together, and practically doing everything together. Thinking back, the emotions that I felt before the shanghai trip just came back to me. When I seeing her going down the stairs to go out and buy food alone, I can’t help but feel tears gushing out of my eyes.

When people ask me if I am alright, I always say smile or laugh and reply life must go on. But the actual fact is, I miss my grandfather a lot. During the funeral, I was the one who hardly cried. At that time, reality has not sunk deep into me yet. However, now, days of not seeing him already, not seeing him when I go down for lunch, days of not seeing him at the dinner table, it had sunk deep into me that he is gone. It’s hard to move on, but I know I have to.

Gong gong, I miss you.

Day 2: 16 September 2009 - Suzhou

Company visit

Shopping - Guan Qian Street

Pizza hut for dinner.=).

Back in the hotel

I dont know what is it with my expression.

Self-timer. crystal joined us in the midst of it and left in the midst of it. haha.

Then we proceed to sarah's room for another few rounds. some are really unglam to the max so i will not post them up.=).

I have always been lying to myself that everything will be alright, but, now, it’s time for me to face up to reality.

But, am I really ready to face it? Am I strong enough?

I really hope my life is as carefree as what people think it is. However, reality differs from their perception. The 10 days in China gave me a break from everything, allowing me to not think about it. However, avoiding all these problems will never solve it. But, I still don’t feel ready to face all these issues. I am afraid I would break down even before it is resolved.

Harsh reality differs from fantasy. If I have a choice, I would want to live in my fairyland forever. But, I know, it is impossible.

Reality is different from my fairyland.

My shanghai trip 15sep-24sep.=).

i have no idea why blogger causes my pictures to be so so pixelated.

15 sep 09 - at the airport

the people with hoodies.=)

when we became bored on the plane

and we have 2.5 hours more.=(.

yunbi and haohong

trying to pass time

we have landed.=).waiting for our bus

on the bus.

dinner time

our suzhou hotel

our room

Day 1: 15 September 2009

The most of the day was spent on travelling. We landed at Shanghai airport, had our dinner and travel for hours to suzhou. it was boredom. even after sleeping for like hours, i was like awake for the remaining like 2hours of the trip. our room was the cleanest as our room did not have stuff like cockroaches, mosquitoes or whatsoever. however, everyone got a shock by the toilet. firstly, the toilet has no lock and it is connected to the closet. and the glass panel is translucent. but after like few days there, we were sort of used to it. olivia and i were playing with self-timer and totally did not leave our room to chat with the others. haha.

thats all for my boring 1st day. =). till next time.=).

With hugs and kisses

P.Nicole

This morning, gonggong left us. Though he has became so thin, however his willpower to live was very strong. After battling for more than half a year, he is now gone. For the past few months, I always believe he will live to a ripe old age. However, today, when I reach the hospital, his heartbeat has already stopped. For the next hour, tears just filled my eyes.

Goodbye gonggong
I love you and you will always live in our hearts
Your granddaughter, Xiao Yu

NICOLE♥

" She’s a princess,
living in her perfect fairytale "

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