Princess Nicole

Gonggong died on the 090909 and today is already the 290909. He has left us for 20 days. On the 7th day, I have already flown to Shanghai and for the 10days; I just allow myself to forget everything and totally don’t bother about it. Today, I was supposed to go for prayers but I couldn’t wake up. Today, since I came back from shanghai, it’s my first time seeing my grandmother again. For the past few days, she have been living in my cousin house as she don’t wish to be remember as she would be sad. Today, she finally moved back. While she was in the room and I was eating my lunch, staring at the chair my grandfather always sit at, I looked about and wonder, what is my grandmother going to do now. For the past few years, they two were inseparable, going on cruise together, going to the beach together, and practically doing everything together. Thinking back, the emotions that I felt before the shanghai trip just came back to me. When I seeing her going down the stairs to go out and buy food alone, I can’t help but feel tears gushing out of my eyes.

When people ask me if I am alright, I always say smile or laugh and reply life must go on. But the actual fact is, I miss my grandfather a lot. During the funeral, I was the one who hardly cried. At that time, reality has not sunk deep into me yet. However, now, days of not seeing him already, not seeing him when I go down for lunch, days of not seeing him at the dinner table, it had sunk deep into me that he is gone. It’s hard to move on, but I know I have to.

Gong gong, I miss you.

NICOLE♥

" She’s a princess,
living in her perfect fairytale "

27December
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